Dear non judgy diary but also more about thaaaat job!

I don’t know if my current boss is really annoying me or I’m just getting annoyed because I know I’m leaving soon. hahaa! But she really is annoying under normal circumstances. I need to remind myself that it will be over soon, actually, I must note down things that annoy me so that I do not annoy my people where I’m going!

Can tomorrow get here already!? I know it’s just the psychometric analysis but it’s the ball rolling! Rolling the fuck out of here! Shame she’ll think I got so pissed I actually resigned but it’s not just her, it’s the whole damn company. They do not value us hey…. There’s free advise on the internet of how to keep your employees happy but noooooooo they just fuck you over. Overworked and underpaid! But my boss, my boss is a mean bitch, and she likes being known as such. We all duck and dive and avoid ever being on the receiving end of her wrath but sometime, like today, she shits on your head, unprovoked. Can you believe she wants us to account for every hour of our day? I mean surely she doesn’t account for every hour of everyday either. Bitch. The money I get here and the amount of work that I do is indirectly proportional! It’s totally ridiculous. Anyway…. I’ll try to remain a good employee in the meantime. 7 crazy weeks to go…. 7!!! Gosh! What’s 7 weeks to a bright and fantastic forever? I’ve quit alcohol, my favourite bev for longer than that so ya, piece of pie… Speaking of pies, let me go get one. Rather not, pies are made up of leftover scraps of meat, probably all swept up with a dusting brush and workmen boots… Still love a pie though, sorry where was I? Yeah, crappy job. I do not want to slit my wrists in the bathtub every morning getting ready for work buy I’ve called in sick when I wasn’t really sick. I was just sick of the place. That’s not good!

So I once left this job and went for the same job (position) to another company, but it was worse there so I come back on some “rather the devil you know” vibe. I’m kidding, that wasn’t the only reason, I came back for a different supposedly higher position. Higher position with the fucking same pay!!!! I was like a caged raged bull when I was at the previous company that I didn’t really see the fine print of the offer. I have spent the last 3 years regretting this stupid move and hating the job bitterly everyday, basically I’ve become a walking wasabi! Just, uhmm pungent! LOL! I’ve spent the last 3 years basically trying to get the fuck out. 2018 when I started this new position I came to work on time, 2019, I came 10 minutes late every other day… 2020, 20 minutes and currently I get hear 30 minutes late… I just can’t do it. I mean I can actually, but I really don’t want to. I’m a punctual person so this goes to show that I’m late because I just didn’t want to come here. Sorry, not sorry!

Fast forward to now, Pre the psychometric interview… I hope they do not see exactly how crazy I am… But crazy is good for leadership right? Right? I’m actually a good leader and actually love doing it… Put me to march the group and I’ll dance while doing it.
Normal people try to calm their nerves before interviews right…? Me, I’m here trying to analyse exactly what I’m feeling. I’m not nervous, I’m excited. You know the feeling when you are headed to labour and not fazed by the pain because you’ll have the baby in your arms soon? Well I don’t know the feeling really, lol, because I don’t have children, and I’ve never given birth and I’ve never been pregnant… LMAO! BUUUUT, while I was in the waiting room and my sister had given birth, but we couldn’t see her yet, I was worried because she had a difficult pregnancy but excited that the baby and her, made it out alive. I honestly have no idea where this birthing and pregnancy metaphors come from. I’m so broody! I’m just possessed or something, where was I? LOL Gotta go take the test… 3 hours! Wish me luck, even though I’d be done by the time I post this!

Fast forward post the test… It went well! Long but well. My gosh the numerical test molested me! Critical thinking test was ok….? I think. The personality one highlighted me as a rule breaker. That’s a good thing for management right? I did explain that I break the rules when I’ve calculated the risks and damage…. LOL!
Usually ( where I currently work) only the final contenders go for psychometric test and I do have my ear on the ground and I’ve heard nothing about other people getting this far in the interview process with this particular company. Plus my former learner did say that he can’t confirm, nor can he deny that the job is mine already wink wink! So imagine a flamboyant gay guy saying this and laughing at the end of the sentence, means I got the job right? That’s totally code for “you didn’t hear this from me but you are hired” So this might just be formality? Aggg, I thought I’d relax more after the interview but I’m thinking about it more. It’s really out of my hands at this point, it should be out of my mind really…..

The end.

Wait…

So the new job might be offering me a contract while the current job is permanent. So I understand the fear that people have for leaving ‘safe environment’ for shaky future. This mentality was holding me back for too long. I’ve seen contracted people getting the permanent positions and I’ve seen permanent people getting retrenched. So I will not be put off by signing a contract. I don’t have a child in university to worry about really. With all this said, this job is offering me growth, that is a higher role and a pay to match it. Who doesn’t want more money? If this contract is not renewed, obviously I’ll come back to this shitty one but hell, I would have made money. That’s a very stretched if… I’M NOT PLANNING TO COME BACK. To be honest with you, I have great plans for the role ahead. I’m going to run with the opportunity I promise you. We have had 8 spots open all year here, longer actually, seriously, no one wants to come work here… Anyway, knowing where I stand with this and how I’ve basically been begging the universe for this role, I told my mean sister about the tests only this morning because she holds no positivity if it changes her life. She wants us to live together forever, honestly…. I’m not going to even begin to explain how suicidal that thought makes me. Anyway, I told her how the test went and the first thing she said was “Don’t take that job, I don’t favour it” all because she thinks I’ll move out. She was like “I don’t want to change your mind but I wouldn’t do it” Reminds me of the time ( all the time) she had an opinion about the person I was dating. She literally said ” I hate so and so, I wish you could breakup”. I used to go for monthly breakfast dates with this guy friend of mine, and you know guys have no drama so when he picked me up, she’d ask him why she wasn’t invited. Ummm because I need a break from you??????? – I thought. i lost a friend because of this once. They became besties, that wasn’t the issue, the issue was that they would talk about me in my absence. The one time I agreed that we all have dinner, my sister kept men hunting and talking about the tables next to us and got annoying drunk. So anyway, My guy friend said ‘join us next time’ and that is how the breakfasts stopped. She’s the older sister who needs to be mothered. It’s not right. Even going out for lunch with her sucks, she orders a meal, doesn’t touch and says she’s full, EVERY TIME!!! then gets home and drowns it in sauces. I mean if we go out of lunch we want to eat the food, fresh… no no , not her. So why bother bathing and going out???? SO I don’t do that to myself anymore. you know what, I was excited and now I’m pissed.

The real end.

4 thoughts on “Dear non judgy diary but also more about thaaaat job!

  1. 1. Rule breakers are the rock of all leaders. 2. Your former learner has totally let slip that this a formality.
    3. Blood does not equal loyalty (as your sister seems to prove)
    What will you miss about your old life when you are in your new life?

  2. bosssybabe says:

    Job’s totally yours!!

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