T&F combo

I had such a beautiful weekend, so much fun, so much drinking, so much sex.. just great. But as my mom used to say ‘Lethabo le tla le sello’ direct translation – ‘joy comes with tears’ and damn that’s true. I had car drama this morning, it could barely go up a slight steep, I’m talking 30 degrees angle, zero power! had to swtich it off and on, what a nightmare. Let’s rewind to the weekend.

There was this Heineken soccer party event thing, wait, how do these brands have so much money? Free alcohol, free food! Hell we even had donuts there, anyway, I’m not complaining. Remember Small world indeed? That crush is loooong gone and it feels like a lifetime ago. Importantly, when I asked MB why he didn’t hook me up with the crush he said I wouldn’t like him. This turned out to be true as he has knock-knees, he can barely see, even his sunglasses are double lenses. This sound like HIS problems. I always tell you guys that I have a healing aura and all that, guys it’s true, random people love to tell me their deepest darkest secrets. This former crush, on top of all his problems, decided to corner me and tell me the most shocking secret ever!

Untitled being the responsible man that he is, decided he wouldn’t drive drunk so he booked a hotel, we were going to uber there and back but we ended up being picked up by his friend. Got there, partied like rockstars, I LOOKED FUCKING HOTTTTT, so Untitled was glued to me all night. I love him. I was wearing a tiny leather skirt that could possible be a belt!!!! LOL! So the sex that followed was amazing as it was building up the whole night! Anyway, we were dancing and just having a blast!

Then former crush, FC, found a slot and snuck in, actually his pants were wet by the crotch and I blurted out “did you fucking pee your pants?” only for him to say YES!! He went on to explain the trauma he experienced as a child and how it doesn’t occur to him if he needs to pee!!!!!!!!! I felt bad, asked him if his friends know, he said NO! Well I pillow talked this secret to Untitled because it could have been a trap. looking back at the pictures, he started to pee when we got there. Why does he drink?? Or set up a reminder every hour to go pee! Shuuuu, I feel sorry for him though.

Outside of that bomb, I had a great night. Drank a lot, I was sick in the morning. So so so sick! So sick that I did the T&F combo. Throw up and fart combo. It was bad. Untitled was rubbing my back and just looking sad for me. I really can’t recover like I used to. I’m really really deep in my 30s.

Tomorrow we go away for his birthday! YAY.

The end

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I was an intern in this company almost 14 years ago, then I was appointed a junior position, then a senior position, then I left to take on a senior position in another company, then came back to this shithole for a semi managerial position. NOW, they want me to fill in the senior position duties PLUS the semi managerial ones for barely an increase. I said no. Am I crazy? No! Are they crazy? Absolutely. They want to make it seem like I’m a money hungry bitch… well how does it feel looking at the mirror? So I must do the work of 2 people for almost the same money? LOL! I’m not even asking for a lot, I just want a 10% increase, just 10%. It’s not even a fair trade and yet you still say no. Fuck you, well not you lovely reader, fuck them!

The end

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The itinerary

Remember Jumping the gun? Can you believe that it’s almost time??? Next week! I can’t even be honest with mean sis because when I told her that we are going away, she became sour, so if she finds out that I booked, she’ll call me stupid. i can’t even be nice to my boyfriend for his birthday without her saying I’m being used. It is mean sis after all.

Anyway, back to me! So I made a whole itinerary for the staycation and sent it to him. He was so chuffed that he started bragging to his boys, then they forced him to send it to them, which he did and someone edited every item on the itinerary to ‘sex’. Why? because boys are stupid. MB is in this boys group and I wonder what he had to say in the group because he said nothing to me! LOL! Maybe he has finally accepted his L and will leave us (me) in peace… I can only hope.

I can’t wait to go and cater to my man. I’m going to give him a facial, foot rubs, massages AND COOK! It will be lovely!

Oh I mustn’t forget the nutella for my boobs!

The end!

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False Alarm!

Ok I’m done overreacting, me and Untitled are back on solid group. Gosh I hate my toxic trait of wanting to run for the hills when I feel I’m on unstable ground. When I feel I might possibly get hurt, I want to beat you to it by calling it quits first. I don’t want things to end. Shuuu, I knew May would shake us but I didn’t know it would be to the core. I did already ask May May be nice We can only go onwards and upwards from here

Untitled had a horrible day as it was the one year anniversary of his dad’s death. He thought he was fine until he wasn’t. To add to that, his ex wife called to check up on him or rather she was calling to try guilt trip him about them breaking up. She pulled the “I don’t want anyone else to be the father of my kids” (they don’t have any) “ I will always love you, even if something happened to me” “ I’m sorry let’s fix things” and the classic ‘I hope your new girl treats you good” 😂😂😂😂😂😂 they have been divorced for almost 4 years!!! Bitch bye!! She apparently has had a rough childhood/ life, so she’s suicidal and was calling Untitled to let him know…. Ai!

Anyway, we had a quick impromptu meeting, see I have his back! He ditched me yesterday, I’m still not over it. We both come from series’s of relationships, the disadvantage of dating older, you have a lot of trigger points and dating traumas that before you can discuss things with your partner, you draw conclusions based on how previous partners acted and reacted.

We had milkshakes to celebrate our 4th month-iversary. Wiped each other’s tears. Told him I almost dumped him but I don’t want to. He was shocked and scared. We sorted things out. That’s a first for me, I used to beat my chest on some “you inconvenience me you miss me” now I talk things out. Who would have thought?

Sorry for the false alarm, all systems go.

Just when we were coming with a plan to sort out our trouble child MB, we have a new one, DEX (depressed Ex- LOL! ok that’s dark but a little funny)

The end

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I’m settling right?

Mother’s Day, 👎🏾 it’s been 3 years and still I feel like shit. Doesn’t help that Mother’s Day is the anniversary of my mothers death. Anyway, I was fine all day but I’ve been in tears for 7+ hours now. I think I got triggered but I’m also trying to understand what triggered me.

Ok so it’s the anniversary of my moms death and also the death of Untitled’s dad. So it was very important that we met and try to steer the emotions of this day into a better path than sad and gloom. So we did. Sort of. We met up, had pizza and wine and it happened, he had to go. I said it’s fine but I was so hurt. I was let there, wathing people celebrate Mother’s Day all round me when I could have just sat at home as had alcohol and avoid the celebrations by watching a movie or binging a crime series. The water works started. He sent a text, I didn’t respond. He called, I didn’t answer. Then I went down the rabbit hole of “does this man even deserve me?!” “Am I settling!?” No. Yes. Those are my conclusions. This man lives at home, yes yes he can leave but when???? He’s 37 next week. Then I remembered I booked us an expensive cabin for 2 nights for his birthday and I cried even more. Why am I crying? Yes I miss my mom. Is that it? Surely it’s not because Untitled cut our date short right? Maybe it’s because he apologised once. ONCE. He’s not really sorry right?

My petty side is out full force. I’m soooo madddd. Leave men at your earliest convenience ladies.

I drove home an hour after he left and the whole way I was thinking of ending things. I don’t want to be the hurt one, and even thought he literally just had a meeting to attend to, I felt betrayed. It was cold and raining, it would have been kinder of him to postpone. I felt like I wasted my time. My energy. My petrol.

Maybe it’s just my grief. Even still. He should have held my hand and told me I’ll be fine eventually.

Everything he did annoyed me. The tiny kisses I usuall love, annoyed me. He wore a new cap and didn’t want to take the sticker ( same as that tag to me!), i was annoyed PLUS! And he usually has the 5:3 ratio pizza which I don’t mind but when i was about to go in for the skinny meatless 4th one, he wanted to share it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was annoyed. I know I know, it’s madness at this point. What if he annoys me forever from now on? SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITT

Should I leave him ? Should I cheat? Am I dramatic?

He called again and I almost didn’t answer, said the meeting was fruitful or some bull shit or how his mom something something and I don’t even know what…. I was like ok, that’s nice, alright.. the whole convo. I admit he doesn’t deserve this bipolar stint from me but fuck!

Am I happy? Am I pretending? Should I get another man?

The end of the rant

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My sweetest taboo

Untitled is sweet, ok I’ve said that 100 times and I’ve meat that 105 times! He really is. We were laying in bed just kissing and cuddling and napping and kissing some more, so I put his hand on my neck, not as a hit or anything because I don’t play the choking sex game. No thanks, mark me absent. He asked me if I have ever been choked during sex and I truthfully said no and added I do not want to be choked because with my luck, I’d die. Then he laughed and said he’s relieved I don’t want him to, because it seems violent to him and he is not comfortable with anything violent. SEE? Sweet, he can’t even get dirty during sex, oh no he does get dirty, he knows how to play with his tongue SHUUU flashbacks attacking me right now! That’s as far as I go! Even him going down on me took some getting used to. I guess sometimes it does show that I went to a convent school, an all girls one, with real sisters/nuns just like on tv , who were our teachers. I tried to push the envelope during my fav position, doggy!, and told him to smack that, he did, but the poor soul was worried about the pressure of the open hand smack. LOL! There was not even a light tint of pink or red on my skin and I bruise easily…. I love rough sex, the push-against-the-wall-shove-my thong-to-the-side-and-ride type… ok that’s my definition of rough sex.

How dirty do you get? Spit in their mouth? I’m judging you. Anal? I’m really judging you! Hot wax? Y’all are crazy! I must admit that my WOT needs some touch ups. It’s easy when you think about it and dry hump your friend to demonstrate but during live action, oh boy! Help. An ex attempted to put his finger in my asshole once while we were having car sex. I was fight to get him to stop and we wanted to continue and all this resulted in fart noises. That stupid man. NO! It’s important to talk about these things first right? Imagine I shove a dildo up your ass with no warning!!!! Maybe I should have. Now I’m pissed.

Anyway, I just wanted to show how gentle Untitled is. Sometimes too gently.

The end

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Untitled season 4

I’ve met the family, the friends and now the colleagues. Untitled had a work event last night and it required me to look hot, let me tell you, I looked fiery dragon-mouth HOTT! So hot that so many people wanted pictures with me, odd obviously, now that I think about it, some guy wanted my leg up in a picture! Fuck, I actually did that! Oh no! In my defense, I was pretty lit at the point. Anyway it was a very nice evening and the food was great, the music was touch and go but I danced so it wasn’t a train smash.

We have been dating for almost 4 months. I have a relationship timeline post that I wrote when I was single, I must check how I’m doing so far … I know for sure that I can see Untitled following the script of Happy and that makes me happy.

Back to the event, we had to do a covid test on arrival, imagine the level of pissed I would have been on if I tested positive! Imagine taking all this hottness back home, I would have cried real tears. People WERE turned back. I told the dr that all that wasn’t necessary because we all know there’s covid and whether you are vaccinated or not, it remains your prerogative whether you mingle or not. He agrees but he’s still testing people because he’s paid!

I promise I have other things going on besides my relationship with Untitled guys, I think I do…?? LOL, I’ll post about other stuff, maybe, ones I remember them. I guess this is now a real dating blog! LOL! It’s so evident, this relationship, that so many people are saying they are happy for me. Hell I’m happy for me too! Damn.

The end

Oh! wait, I read that the girl in this meme is currently 16 and she has passed on. RIP baby girl, condolences to the family.

The real end

Pooitjie Cook off

Oh my gossssh! Please google what a South African pooitjie is.

Firstly, we had so muuuuch fun. I was drunk and high and I think my mean girl streak came out a little, shit. I must stay away from the weed.

The plan was to go to the cookoff, have fun, go home ( my parent’s house) and drive to my place the next day. That didn’t happen. Well I got to the cook off, but never went home.

I don’t even know where to start. The food was amazing. My man won the cook off, he cooked the pork, the other contender did lamb My wig fell at some point, twice. I had weed. I was calling out all the cheaters. Male Bestie came with a girl but he kept calling her boring. MB sat on my lap! Some guy kept kissing my cheeks when he hugged me hello and goodbye. Untitled’s mom was super nice to me. Again. I SLEPT OVER. AT UNTITLED’S MOTHER’S HOUSE. COMFORTABLY! We slept all day, y’all know I can sleep all day and night, I turned him into a sleepy man because that’s all we did, plus we are old so the recovery wasn’t easy, hell I’m still recovering. It was so much fun though that it was determined to be a thing going forward. They will challenge each other.

There’s so much to unpack that I feel overwhelmed! OH my gosh!!! Surely sleeping over takes us to another season. Untitled: Season 4!!! Oh, MB says I was a bully, nothing new there but see? The pushover side of me came out, it had to, Untitled needs that side of me to control those beasts he calls friend. They won’t walk all over him in my presence! Never!

The end

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May May be nice

May is a big month for me and Untitled. It’s one giant roller coaster because the lows are deeper than basement level, and the highs are piercing the clouds. In 2019, 12 May, it was a Sunday, Mother’s Day, my mom past away. Y’all know I’ve hardly accepted my mom’s passing even though it’d been 3 years. I STILL ugly cry at ramndom moments, in traffic, in the shower at gym and my fav, in bed. Last year, on Mother’s Day, Untitled‘s dad past away. So much heartache surrounds this time you see? Plus all the mother’s day noise every single year, doesn’t help. On the 18th its Untitled‘s birthday and I’ve booked a beautiful cabin hide out for us for 2 nights. Should I bring cake along? I got something engraved for him. Last year on his birthday, he was busy with his dad’s funeral arrangements. So we both deserve to brighten May’s memories. At the end of May we have a trip to another country, I’ve never left the country so it’s a big deal. Technically I’m not leaving the country as Swaziland is another country within South Africa so I’m going inside the country? LOL! I can’t wait. The plan was to use a common transport as a group with other people (his friends) as this trip was planned in 2020 prior to covid drama. Some people pulled out and some didn’t, some are jumping back in now, including MB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This man must be stopped. I hope he brings a girl along so that he can be distracted instead of plotting against me and my man. On Wednesday Untitled has a work function that I’m invited to. It’s an evening gala event and I have to look like lava, HOTT! I’ve met the friends, I’ve met the family and now I’ll be meeting the colleagues, yeah, we are intertwined for sure now!

May, please be nice.

The end

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Mean sis ‘meets’ Untitled

I’m dating a man who’s so sweet, who is so caring, who is so wonderful, who is so gentle, who is so soft hearted. I was procrastinating him meeting mean sis because, well, its mean sis and mean sis has liked 0% of my exs so ya…. you can understand. Yesterday however, Untitled had to pick me up for our lunch plans (public holiday in SA), and for some reason, I had switched off notifications from our complex gate. So when he entered, I didn’t get a message, I just heard a knock and that alarmed us. Naturally mean sis was naked so I postponed the introductions to later. He got me chocolate… See? He’s so sweet man! I popped it in the house and bounced.

We stay at the highest floor so mean sis went to our peeping spot and analysed us from a distance. LMMO! He opened the door for me… See? He’s so gentle man! Off we went, 2 minutes away from my house. We drank and ate and laughed and people watched and kissed and just enjoyed each other and soon it was home time…. 4 hours later.

When I got back, mean sis had gone out so that worked out fine. Introductions at some other time I guess! When she got back however, she told me she likes him for me. “He’s decent and caring and sweet” I was shocked! Asked her how she saw that from the window in 2 minutes. “He got you chocolate for no reason, he opened the car door”.

Well there you have it… mean sis approves.

Amen, I mean the end.

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