I’ve been chatting with a guy I’ve given way too many chances to, for about a month now… Well actually, we met via tinder and had a one night stand (turned out to be) a year ago. I was so in love with the idea of this guy, he was perfect (best of the trash) on paper but he ghosted me.
When he texted me, a fucking year later, I was thrilled…. gosh my life is sad.
On Friday he suggested we hang out and asked when I’m free, I said all weekend ( yeah I also smell the desperation). He said he’s busy Saturday and we should hang Sunday. Well Sunday rolled over and I woke up to his drunk texts, literally saying he is drunk and an hour later asking if I was still awake at fucking 1am! Anyway, I said good morning like the fucking loser I am and asked him what he drank blah blah blah, he said he doesn’t drink that much anymore and he got knocked out by 4 coronas, this information is vital for this story. FOUR CORONAS! This was around 9 am and note he was up! We had never finalised what meeting up meant, we had just agreed to ‘catch up/ meet up Sunday late”. I look at the time ticking and tocking away then 5pm comes through and he isn’t saying a damn word. Initially I wanted to ask him ‘ wtf?’ but decided he must man up and if he conveniently forgets then I’d call him out on it.
I can’t believe I spent my day waiting for this guy… Well it’s nothing new when it comes to him but it definitely was the last time.
Around 6pm he texts ‘can I ask you a weird question?’ My response was “Shouldn’t we be hanging out babe? but anyway, go ahead and ask” I cringed retyping this, don’t worry. I FUCKING CALLED HIM BABE!!! He went on a whole tangent about anal and exs and just some weird conversation. He said he was hungover STILL. FOUR CORONAS OVER 12 HOURS AGO.
Yeah this guy is not into me. He’s not trying to charm me. He’s not trying to even woo me. He just doesn’t like me. In case I didn’t really grasp it at this point, he sent me the ‘I need to tell you something and I hope it doesn’t change things between us’ text.
I took a gulp of my wine and waited for the punch in the gut to come.
“I’m kind of seeing someone but also feel like I’m kind of seeing you too”
Then I blueticked him because wooooow….. The punch knocked my air out.
I don’t usually care if a guy I like has a partner, I know its a horrible thing to say but usually that’s when I’m there for a ‘nice time not a long time’. but this particular guy, I won’t accept because I wanted something meaningful and long term and monogamous.
‘Dont bluetick, I’m being honest’
Then I loled, even though I didn’t find anything funny, ‘We arent seeing each other, we are working towards a friendship here, besides, I’m in a talking stage with someone’ – I said, trying to be fine with all this.
‘But I want you’- he lied…
My heart is for pumping blood I guess.
Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.